Courage
by Cielseeker
Summary: "Don't interupt me Knockout!" He held him fimly by the  shoulders, gently shaking him. His wide gold optics brimmed with tears and fear. Knockout blinked, classifying this time as not a good time for a witty remark. "I-... c-ould have lost you..."


Knockout punched the keypad when the keypad-triggered door to the Medic Bay didn't open right away. He was not in a good mood… This stupid slagging fleshy DESTROYED his paint job. Not that he had a scratch to prove it. On his way back he tried to grab a quick word of praise from Lord Megatron by snatching a red haired human- ugly too… Mr. Hot Plates Optimus Prime wasn't to happy and RIPPED HIS DOOR OFF. KO snarled to himself rubbing his forearm where the door was missing.

"Was that REALLY necessary?" He hissed quietly cursing the over human protective leader. His silver tipped foot nicked the leg of the table they used as a shelf causing him to stagger and almost trip. He growled angrily and kicked the table leg; it snapped and sent all the contents in, and on it, crashing to the floor.

It wasn't fair.

What would the other cons say if they saw him MISSING A FRAGGING DOOR?! They'd make fun of him… Just like med academy.

As his rage softened to a whimper, he collapsed against a wall, gently rubbing his bare, unplated, chrome arm.

His armor felt tight. Was he gaining weight again? His mind drifted to what he knew he usually- was going to do again- "solution".

It was necessary.

He needed it.

His reputation needed it.

More importantly, his image needed it.

Knockout got up pushing painful memories out of his processor.

No, they wouldn't happen again. Why do you think he spent so much time on his image? Standing up slowly, and still holding his unprotected forearm he made his way to a small cabinet in the far corner of the med bay.

Carefully opening the cabinet doors and glancing over his shoulder warily, the white audial fins resembling elf ears perked, swiveling, catching any sign of unwanted visitors.

The red medic slid a small, black, thin, metal box off the top shelf, tucked far back. No one knew about this. He planned no one would. They didn't need to know, to them he would naturally look this way.

Starting to slide the matching black lid off the small casing, a tap on the shoulder from behind made him yelp sharply in surprise and almost loose his hold on his box of precious cargo. Quickly shutting the lid forcefully with a loud clap noise and holding it to his chest, he whirled around. The ever silent Soundwave stood there bluntly. Black mask always covering his face a live audio wave dancing across it, collecting noise.

KO sighed in relief.

"Oh good. For a moment there Soundwave I thought it was someone important." KO's voice dripped with irritated sarcasm.

Soundwave didn't even twitch. Showing his annoyance a unique way. Knockout cleared his throat, adjusting the box to slide under his arm, out of sight to hide it better.

"Did you need something? Or are you just lurking around scaring the circuits out of innocent medics for fun?"

Soundwave's data stream jumped and moved as he talked, only showing that he had heard him with dry, monotone interest. The messenger promptly played a direct recording from Starscream.

"-Oh and Soundwave… Tell our good doctor to come here… I have a… surprise…"

The silent beast abruptly raised one hand, a single needle digit pointing out the hidden box questioningly.

Ko snorted slightly as if it wasn't his business and pushed it back into the cabinet.

It would have to wait…

He shut it and made a show of locking it, getting the point across it was NOT to be touched. Sound seemed to sighed like he had better things to do and turned on one heel, walking away as silently as he had come.

Knockout rolled his optics muttering something under his breath and walked to the door. Breakdown met him at the door, showing a warm smile.

"Breakdown-!" He exclaimed with some startlment.

Slag it was going to be harder to fit his secret activity in now… Not even his soon to be mate knew about it…

And by soon to be mate… he meant he was 96.64% sure the big blue wrecker was going to ask him to be his mate within the next week.

Breakdown stepped to the side slightly cocking his head innocently.

"Where ya goin'?"

"I've been 'summoned' by the 'Lord' Starscream." He muttered sarcastically doing air quotes on 'Summoned' and 'Lord'. Breakdown smirked amusedly and nodded, shaking his head like knockout did it again.

Knockout smirked too, fake, but tried to make it seem real. He knew by his assistant's expression drop he had caught it was fake.

"What's wrong Babe?" He leaned down slightly as if expecting a secret. Knockout shook his head dismissing it with a lift of his hand over his shoulder as he walked past him. Breakdown sighed slowly, but straightened and followed.

"You disobeyed strict orders!" The seeker screeched,taking several threatening steps forward, obviously beyond pissed.

"No worries Commander Starscream… I disobeyed orders-… and… paid the price.." Knockout rubbed his forearm tenderly. Breakdown raised an optic ridge curiously.

"It is LORD!" Starscream hissed. Pausing, then continued eerily calm. "Don't worry… your punishment will be merely-… cosmetic…" He extended one long seeker claw, glinting. KO took a step back, optics widening in fear.

"No! Not the finish! Not the finish! Anything but the finish!" Starscream stepped forward again, pinning him against Breakdown and dragged his long slender claw down his lower shoulder near the upper chest, leaving a long jagged scrape.

"NO!" KO screamed trying to swat his claw away.

Starscream pulled his claw back still grinning evilly, seeming to have enjoyed his little power thrill. Knockout on the other hand seemed on the verge of panic. He was on the floor. Sitting legs half under him, half sprawled out. Both hands were covering his upper right chest, hiding a long and deep scratch.

Breakdown looked down sympathetically at KO, abruptly switching to a withering death glare up at the commander. Silently, but none the less a clear hint to wipe his smug grin off his face. To top the threat one hand transformed to his well known hammer. .

Starscream's face fell instantly and he retracted his claws, shaking the paint dust from his claw. He took a step back and turned, quickly hurrying out of the room. One could hear his 'heels' clicking long after he was out of sight. Breakdown dropped his glare and transformed his hand back glancing pitifully at KO.

"You okay babe?" He asked softly.

The growling mech sat up straighter lifting his hands off his lower shoulder to see the scratch. He whined seeing how unexpectedly deep it was, going past the finish and even the base paint.

"That was a lot deeper than cosmetic." He hissed, muttering under his breath, "Son of a glitched slagger…" Breakdown smiled slightly, but it dropped like a rock at his next statement.

"I need to be alone for awhile."

He said it so bluntly it almost made Breakdown jump.

"Oh- kay… Come find when your done… We can go for a drive." He offered to the upset medic.

Knockout stood slowly and didn't answer.

He couldn't.

He was afraid if he did his voice would give away how close he was to breaking. The bot he cared about the most just saw him scream like a sparkling, plus he had a missing door, a gouge in his shoulder, and he had gained weight… Breakdown put a gentle thick digit under Knock's chin making him look him in his golden optics.

"Okay Babe…?" He said softly. Knockout pulled away, unprofessionally almost falling over his own feet, quickly working to hide his growing panic. His snow white faceplate was a barely light blue with blush though. Breakdown was the only bot he knew that could make him blush. The medic quickly straightened and hurried out of the room, both hands over his 'injured' shoulder.

Knockout ran into the med bay. He had to act fast. He bolted over to the cabinet yanking on it to open, then cursing himself as he remembered, and found out simultaneously, he had locked it. He quickly pulled out a fancy looking key, jamming it in and turned it clumsily, unlocking it, and throwing both key and lock aside. Sliding the box out and feeling the weight inside reassured him his cargo was safe.

He hurriedly walked over to the long window in his lab he opened it and set the box on the nearby counter.

This was necessary.  
>He needed it.<br>Breakdown would like it.  
>That's all that mattered… right?<p>

Pulling out a small black contraption about as wide as his hand, he fiddled with a few settings on the small screen and leaned out the window. Quickly surveying the area to confirm he had no spectators, he placed the curve portion of the black metal to his neck, the curve fitting perfectly around the white slender neck. He pressed a trigger down on the object.

A jolt of electricity was sent through the object, shooting through his neck and setting off his gag reflex. The thin stomach of the over conscious mech clenched, responding to the forcefully triggered reflex.

Knockout threw up.

The foul taste making his throat burn. He weakly smiled turning the dial up and pulling the trigger again. A bigger current pulsed through the evil contraption and into his neck, making his gag reflex set off once more. He threw up again. Harder this time, having to cough and her hands gripping the ledge with the pain it brought as well.

More oil came up then energon- meaning there wasn't much left in the abused tanks to heave.

He coughed taking a wheezing breath, but didn't stop.

He needed this.

If he had to live with scratches and missing plates, he had to compensate in other ways. He turned it up yet again, pressing the trigger. The surge of electricity crackled dangerously high and making her vision fizzle slightly. An awful, sickening, wet choking noise following as he struggled for air.

The med door slid open and Breakdown stepped in holding new tools, hearing Knockout catch his breath raggedly as the high current swept into HIS knockout's beautiful neck.

He gasped in alarm, optics widening dropping the tools to the floor with a loud crash.

Sprinting forward hearing his to-be mate gag and cough sending a sparse spray of discolored oil into the air outside.

"Knockout! What are you doing!?" He ripped the contraption away from the medics grip, crushing it in his big hands and chucking the remains away from them.

KO yelped when his invention was snatched. He turned, optics hollow and dim, now holding the window sill for support tightly. Opening his mouth to protest that he NEEDED this did no good, his voice wasn't working anyway.

He tried to take a step, but his shaking legs wouldn't hold him, one leg gave out making him grunt painfully as he fell into the wall still holding the sill.

He couldn't see straight. Breakdown worked fast. Muttering worriedly,

"You finally over did it Knockout…"

KO didn't hear. If he did it didn't register. Black was edging his vision. His tanks hurt more then he could bare. The harsh stomach acid used to digest energon now eating away at the only thing occupying the space- itself.

Breakdown picked him up gently trying to interpret the slurred mumblings of his patient. Laying him on the operating table, he wiped away some oil from KO's perfect face. Quickly taking the best energon reserve they had for emergencies and hooked him up to an IV.

Knockout's optics blinked on. His image receptors still staticky and fuzzy. Everything sounded warbled and underwater almost. His audials were ringing, slowly regaining power. He blinked and looked around scanning the still, dark, med bay.

He felt- tight.

Oh no he didn't.

He glanced at the IV.

How long had he been 'eating'? He probably gained more weight now then he had during the last MONTH. He lifted one heavy arm clumsily to try to pull it out but paused looking at his arm.

It was fixed… perfectly…

How…? Who…?

A shuffling noise caught his attention to the side, slowly tilting his helm in that direction. Breakdown slowly stood up from his seat next to the table. He looked overtired. Gently taking the IV out, he scooped KO up in his big arms, holding him close, and sat back in his chair. Knock saw a single tear of lubricant drip and land on his newly fixed door.

"Don't… ever… do-" Break started, voice quivering.

"I di-"

"Don't interrupt me Knockout!" He held him firmly by one shoulder, gently shaking him. His wide gold optics brimmed with tears and fear.

Knockout blinked, classifying this time as not a good time for a witty remark.

"I-… c-ould have lost you…" Breakdown continued softly.

"I wasn't going t-" Break shook him a bit harder again.

"I'm not done!" He stared at KO. Those crimson rose red optics. Snow white faceplate, deceivingly innocent. His small 'goatee' perched on his chin. A tear spilled over and he clutched KO to his chest.

"Don't touch that thing… ever again…"

"I-"

"DO YOU HEAR ME!" He abruptly yelled.

"Y-yes…" Knockout stammered a bit taken back. Breakdown quietly sniffed, trying to regain some composure and hugged him tighter.

"I did it for-"

"Don't say you did it for me… please…" Breakdown whispered quietly.

"I needed to look good for you…" Knockout confessed quietly.

"The moment I saw your smile I was impressed!"

Knockout looked down and blushed light blue. A short silence followed. Break slowly started humming, lyrics coming with.

"Her eyes… her eyes… make the stars look like there not shining."

He smirked at KO trying to lighten the mood.

"Her hair, Her hair, falls perfectly without her trying. She's so beautiful… and I tell her every day."

Knockout's face slowly heated up again flustered.

"Oh you know, you know, you know I'd never ask you to change… If perfects what your looking for then just stay th-"

"Stoooooop…" KO covered his faceplate with one trembling servo; he felt his face heating up more, sure it was bright blue by now.

"Just stay the same." Breaky finished with a smirk, then continued. "So don't even bother asking if you look okay. You know I'll saaaay girl your-"

"Okay. I'm not a femme bot…" KO interrupted pointedly. "But I'm flattered."

"I know. It shows on your pretty face." Breakdown poked where his nose would be. Smiling affectionately. Knockout's face jumped a shade and went a darker blue, spreading over his cheeks.

"Babe you're amazing… just… the…way…you…are…" He dragged out the last verse, pulling Knockout's chin to face him with one thick, rounded digit and bringing them closer with each word. Knockout swallowed tightly feeling his faceplate burning.

"Breakdown…" He whispered trying to pull away lightly. Break smirked seductively, thick blunt fangs glinting. Pulling his chin closer. KO could feel Breakdown's warm venting on his face. Breakdown continued, starting to whisper as the distance between there faces decreased.

"And when you smile… I can't stop but stare for awhile… Babe your amazing… just the way you are… her laugh… her laugh… she hates but I think it's so sexy…" He pulled there lips together kissing him gently. KO kissed back, suddenly not caring if bots saw anymore. He pulled back just enough to leave space to whisper,

"You missed a verse…" Breakdown pulled away farther and ran a hand down KO's helm.

"Eh. Sue me." Knockout chuckled and leaned into him, being reminded of how tight his plates felt against his protective skin,stretching to hold the energon. He made a face of disgust and looked down.

"Why would you put me on an IV…" He whined, in his criticizing optics, he was fat. He couldn't remember the last time his plates felt this tight. Breakdown sighed and wriggled a digit under his upper stomach plate and rubbing the underside of the plate.

Knockout tensed, one hand lightly gripping Break's shoulder. He had never been touched there and it was extremely sensitive. Break wiggled it farther pushing his thumb underneath as well. KO's cool, soft protective layer of skin pressed up against his digits.

Breakdown found a wire and rubbed it between his 2 digits, pulling him closer. Knockout caught his breath and swallowed hard arching his back slightly into the touch. He mumbled gibberish quietly, gripping breakdown's plate a bit harder. Break purred lightly and rubbed the underside of his plate again, leaning down to nose his neck. KO shuddered and started to purr as well panting slightly trying to keep some composure. The light touches drove him crazy.

"Bre-ak… d-ont-… mmn… Stop t-easing me!" He whimpered pushing into the touch more. Breakdown chuckled and pulled his digits out, hugging him tighter and finding his hot-spot. He licked a wire his glossa glided over, purring a bit louder and nuzzling him. Knockout whined lightly.

Break jerked in surprise opening his optics and looking up when he was tapped un-expectantly.

Soundwave was standing there, sneaking up yet again. Breakdown growled frustratingly and looked down at his shuddering medic. Sound pointed to the door. Knockout's optics flickered on, unevenly and he had to blink a few times.

"Why did you-" He saw Soundwave and his face went blue again, quickly sitting up. He was reminded yet again of how tight his plates were with the extra energon.

"Slag it Soundwave…" He huffed and glared at Sound. He sat up straighter and rubbed his stomach, stretching and pouting at Breakdown. Break shot him a look that told him he better not do what he was thinking about doing. KO opened his mouth the protest but Break cut him off.

"Do what I think you're thinking and I'll pump you so full of energon you'll have to shed your plates." Knockout huffed and stuck out his glossa at him, obviously not feeling threatened by the jokster.

"Through your valve." He added smirking again fangs showing. KO paused, white face plate once again jumping to a deep shade of blue. He cleared his throat and looked away, quickly standing from Breakdown's lap, and taking a few only semi-stable steps away, and toward a random cabinet.

Breakdown chuckled, putting a dark spin on it and slapped his aft as he walked away. KO jumped startled and stuck his glossa out again over his shoulder, for once he was at a loss for a witty comeback. Breakdown stood motioning to Sound he was coming.

"Actually… I might do that anyway…" He winked at Knockout and laughed at his horrified expression.

"You better not! I still have an image to uphold!" KO shot back sounding a bit frantic. Breakdown laughed again. Shouting back as he made his way toward the door,

"Just tell them your carrying!"

"That's worse!"

"I'm offended!"

"Get over it!" KO put his hands on his hips and teasingly glared at him. Break blew a kiss and walked to the open door and winked back at the medic. He glanced around, over his shoulders and pointed to him whispering in a low voice edged in purring,

"I'm coming back for you…" KO's mouth dropped a bit- yet again at a loss of a decent come back. He couldn't think when he was flustered- or under pressure… Breakdown chuckled again and walked out, the doors closing. Knockout whined and looked down at his plates, showing a bit more skin having been pushed apart by the bulge of the energon. Breakdown had force fed him. He sighed forlornly and fell back into his spinny-chair. Now what…

The door hissed open again catching Knockout off guard jerking to his feet. His optics looking up and meeting the Second in Command's.

Starscream paused hands held behind his back, and cocked his helm to the side slightly. Waving a loose claw at her curiously,

"What happened to you?"

Knockout's optics widened a bit turning away and sourly shot back angrily,

"I'm carrying!"

•=•=•=•=•=•

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